The pale plastic ubiquity...

[Video Broadcast]

2009-12-06T21:55:30Z

((What's this? A video broadcast on the Network? Yes, yes it is. And, look, that's Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf himself in it! All dressed up in full mad scientist regalia! Lab coat, goggles, and all.

But, wait...what's he doing? He's...smearing something across one of the holes in the barrier? It looks like...putty...glue...or something? It's soft, it's white, it solidifies after a little while--thick glue or paste or plaster.

No, no, dear friends. This is a derivative of Imoplex, the patent for which Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf himself holds.

Out of nowhere (he can do these things), a bit of music plays...

Half a moment and he turns to the camera, trowel in hand:))

Hello, I'm Professor Doctor Laszlo Jamf and welcome to Your Own City. Today we're tackling a simple repair project that you can do yourself.

These sorts of holes aren't the sort of thing you usually see in a barrier or a wall like this. But they can happen with a combination of bad design and the usual wear and tear daily life puts on them. No one likes to admit it, but bad design happens, and it looks like it's happened here.

You can't leave holes like this open, and they aren't going to go away by themselves. Insects, ants, cockroaches, mice, all sorts of vermin can get in, not to mention chimera, ogres, and kappa. And that's the last thing you want to have happen with an enclosed structure like this. They'll be impossible to get out. And that's not to mention all the problems you'll have with insulation.

If you can, it's best to call a contractor or someone who knows what they're doing to repair these holes. But, if you're really in a pinch and the holes are as big as this, you could try to repair them yourself. And that's what we're going to do today.

So today we're going to be patching these holes with some common, household materials and materials you can get at local City shops.

All you need is something to spread across the hole and something to spread it with.

((And the angle changes to show the palette and trowel he holds...))

Now, I'm using a mixture of 75% Imoplex to 25% Plaster of Paris. It makes a smooth mixture that spreads easily and holds its shape across the hole. But you can also use a polymer modified dry mix mortar instead of plaster.

If you don't have either of those you can use duct tape, chewing gum, cellophane tape, bandages, medical tape, papier mache, clay, putty, spackle, caulk, mochi, melted cheese, cooked pasta, taffy, caramel, toffee (which is different from taffy), horsechestnuts, glue (white, super, or carpenter's), paste, partially melted ice cream, dough (bread or otherwise), crushed fresh bread, melted plastic, metal (melted or solid), solder, iron bars, medical sutures, hair gel, hair spray, mousse (chocolate or cosmetic), fabric, thread, yarn, knitted or woven items, pieces of woven baskets, patchwork quilts, scarves, stretched leather, stretched pleather, macaroni, unwanted electronics, cigar store Indians, cake icing, cardboard, paper pulp, woven plant parts, aluminum foil, tin foil, miscellaneous wires, Styrofoam, wax, tallow, soap (liquid or solid), chocolate, gummy candy, nut shells, mud, various cosmetics (mixed), or canned air.

Now, just take your mixture onto a trowel, spatula, or spoon and spread it across the hole. Don't be afraid to get a good amount on here. You need to cover the hole.

Just smooth this part out a little more to cover that corner. And there. Make sure you use enough material, but there's no need to really slather it on. Use it efficiently because we've got a lot of holes to cover.

Now just repeat that. It's just like spreading icing on a cake. Spread it across and smooth it out. Spread it across and smooth it out.

Once the holes have been patched, the patches themselves will dry, smooth over, and, in a few weeks, look like there was nothing there at all. It's kind of like a bandage over a wound: cover it up and let it heal itself away.

((Cut back to Laszlo with his palette and trowel standing in front of a patched over hole...in the sky... He throws as winning a smile as Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf can throw...which isn't saying much.))

And that is a do-it-yourself way to repair holes in your reality.

Thanks for watching Your Own City and good luck in your own City.

((Cue theme music and fade out.))

[ooc: Laszlo says HERE IS HOW CANS HAS FIX BARRIERS :D PLZ TO BE HELPING, CITIZENSES. No, seriously: citizens, lend a hand! Patch up the barriers if you want to save the City. Use anything: gum, bandages, clay, Silly Putty, Spackle, whatever you've got! Come on, come on!]

laszlo_jamf @ 2009-11-06T15:41:00

2009-11-06T20:42:21Z

Shenanigans.

I fell into a burning ring of fire. It burned, burned, burned, and the flames leapt highter...

[ooc: He's just being a dick, but he saw what you did there with those effigies.]

laszlo_jamf @ 2009-10-11T12:01:00

2009-10-11T16:01:42Z

We're going on a bear hunt. (We're going on a bear hunt.) We're going to catch a big one. (We're going to catch a big one.) I'm not afraid. (I'm not afraid.) Got a real good friend. (Got a real good friend.) Who spits Ketamine. (Who spits Ketamine.) In sharp little darts. (In sharp little darts.)

We have bounty hunters here, don't we? I think we must. Cute. Well, here's a blast from the past and a little something to encourage you:

W A N T E D
ESCAPE AND CYBER-CRIME

Have you seen this bear?

Wanted for escaping Deity containment, disturbing the peace, creating a nuisance, littering, cyber-crime, bad manners, interrupting, forced memes, unintended curse effects, and general shenanigans.

Bear is known to be dangerous, though probably not armed. Bear is more prone to verbal than to physical absuse. Bear is known to be agile, quick, and able to avoid capture. Citizens seeking to capture or detain this bear act at their own risk.

R E W A R D O F F E R E D
Reward offered for successful capture and detention of this animal.

Reward is one (1) Mushroom

This Mushroom is able to restore life to the dead. This Mushroom is also known for certain hallucinogenic properties*.

*The Deities are not responsible for any and all acts committed, considered, pre-meditated, or carried out while under the influence of this mushroom. The Deities waive all responsibility, authority, and knowledge in regards to this mushroom. The Deities offer this mushroom only as incentive for the capture of this bear owing to the alternative effects of said mushroom: namely, restoration of biological function (aspiration, circulation, digestion, body temperature, etc.) in those who are deceased in the City.

To claim this reward, Bear must be brought to the Deity offices by the captor. In the case of a joint capture, the Deities will decide to whom the reward will be offered.

--Authorized by ~~Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf~~ the City Deities

That should do it.

[ooc: Behold Laszlo on the rooftops of your City (his City?), armed with a tranquilizer gun, the tails of his lab coat flapping like the duster of some lone, Western gunman. Ooh wee ooh wee oooooh...wah wah waaah... Ooh wee ooh wee oooooh...wah wah waaaaaah! Also, does anyone else remember the "We're Going on a Bear Hunt" act-out rhyme...or did I just date myself?]

laszlo_jamf @ 2009-09-11T20:32:00

2009-09-12T00:34:06Z

Try this one:

The police come knocking at your door. You open it. They start saying, excuse us, we've got some bad news. Did you know that this guy is dead? Isn't that terrible? The funny thing is that we've got some hair and some blood and some fibers that look awfully like your hair, your sweater there, and maybe even your blood. Would you mind telling us how you got those injuries on your face? And we'd like a DNA sample. So where were you on Tuesday night? Here all night? Got a roommate who can prove that? No? Well, we're going to case the neighborhood and see what anyone else can tell us. Maybe they've seen this guy around. Maybe they've seen you. And then, if you throw a punch, because you're a guilty son of a gun (which is a pun here, maybe), they get to arrest you.

Hell, sometimes it seems like they can arrest you for anything.

See, I can sling the lingo if you want me to sling the lingo. I don't know Miranda but I do know how to waltz Matilda. Miranda's the one who starts in with rights to remain silent, rights to attorneys, rights for this, rights for that.

Right?

Right.

Wrong!

This is my house.

We're not in that jurisdiction anymore. This is my jurisdiction, my diction, my dictation, my dictatorship (perhaps, if only, one can wish, and this is a small view of the long stack up in the home office, forever the dirty work for me), and your jurisprudience is less prudent and more purient. So your jurispurient or maybe just jurisimprudent and thoroughly accused self is obliged due punishment.

See, this is how it works. Consider: social contract, animal kingdom, religion, even physics: for an action, a reaction. For benefit, further benefit. For misdeeds, punishment. Animals will, at times, exercise a kind of "corrective violence." Cats are prone to it, scratching their keepers to get them to stopandquitandstopdoingthatforever. And it works sometimes. If the keeper is clever.

So what that means is that if you've done something, we're going to find out, because we're clever like that. So don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

And it's more than time going on in there. They called them "penitentiaries" when they wanted the prisoners to be penitent. No one calls them that anymore. That was a nod to rehabilitation and divinity. It's just jail.

Jail, gaol, prison, the box, the cooler, it's got a thousand names, and go ask the warden for a thesaurus and get some more. If he'll let you have a book, that is. You might tear the pages out, tie them together, throw the paper rope out the window, bend back the window bars, slide down the paper rope, and have an escape.

That's why there aren't many windows.

That's also why we took away your belt. We don't want any hangings.

Don't joke for a moment that you've been framed. We got your hair, we have your DNA, we can place you at the scene, you've got motive, we have a witness, you returned to the scene, you fit the profile. And if we ask the right questions, maybe we'll even get a confession out of it too. It's a matter of pressure and leverage.

Just like physics.

Raskolnikov thought he was above the law. The law came crashing down. I'd also recommend Kafka's stories on prison, imprisonment, punishment, and crime. Those will scare you straight.

If this doesn't do it first.

I'm tired of the lack of law and order in this City.

You fought the law. And the law won.

[ooc: In the criminal justice system, very offensive offenses are considered especially heinous. In the City, the dedicated deities who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as The City Deities. These are their stories.

..........................................................doink-doink.]

laszlo_jamf @ 2009-04-26T12:30:00

2009-04-26T16:31:33Z

Whee.

[ooc: Earthquake? Rainstorms? Wars? Nice weather? Mocking you? Riding a roller coaster? Trust exercises in the deity offices? Playing with Gregor? Stealing the last doughnut from the break room? Rolling around his office on a liberated mesh-y office chair (that's trickle-down ergonomics)? Trying to piss you off? This is for teh frustrating lulz only. He won't say anything re: the earthquake or what might come of it (ominous omninous ominous~). Rock on. Mr. Deadpan Dick strikes again!]

Why I Do What I Do

2009-04-01T17:20:12Z

White Rabbit, White Rabbit.

April Fools.

I liked the display yesterday. Very quaint. Very 1968.

Needs more crowds around here.

~~Come out, come out, wherever you are.~~

[ooc: Because he's a dick. So I decided to post with him for lulz. Him him, if you'd like.]

Cutlers Grammar School Announcement

2009-03-26T15:07:13Z

Gentlemen, I suggest you study this chart well:

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

[ooc: Yes. I went there.]

Warden Election Results

2009-03-21T20:55:50Z

~~I like voting. Is there something so wrong with that?~~

POLL'S CLOSED

With 100% of precincts now reporting (and no hanging chads here, thank you very much, but no paper trail either, bless ye electronic voting, and how does that make you feel?), we extend our congratulations (or something like them) to

Hiro Nakamura

as newly-elected warden for the jail of the City.

Now wasn't that amusing?

Congratulations, etc, etc, surely a smooth transfer of power, paperwork and files to see to, meetings to attend, cabinetry 101 to see to--now go to prison and get to work.

First time in a while we've seen the actual platforms put forth. Campaigning! Actual campaigning! Well done there. Next time let's try for door-to-door nonsense and maybe a few signs in the yard. Always amusing. Maybe City-sponsored debates. Perhaps more presentation of platforms. Rallies. Vice-wardens.

Maybe just signs in the yard.

For the victor:

Rather charming, I think.

~~Watchers at world's edge.~~

[ooc: Ta dah, new warden! It was a close one! I had fun watching the poll, that's for sure. Rock on with your bad selves!]

Warden Elections

2009-03-20T18:54:59Z

~~I think I was a little off yesterday. Someone swapped out my cigarettes, I think.~~

You know, one of my favorite pastimes is to go down the square and watch what all of you are wearing. I'm not sure if it's all ethnic, cultural, or fashionable. It's entertaining. Denim blue jeans tucked into boots. I'll never understand. I'm too old for this. I think I liked the girl wearing ten pounds (at least) of ruffles best.

The warm weather is making me lazy, I think.

No, don't look for me on the square. You won't recognize me.

What does that do to you? Hic et ubique. Ladies and gentlemen, I am the Network.

But not today.

I was supposed to actually say something--

Oh, right. This:

Vote vote vote like a baby stoat.

WARDEN
ELECTIONS

I hope there's be a little mudslinging. At least the campaigning has been interesting. If a little, what's the phrase, "teal deer."

Warden Elections.

View Poll: Warden Elections

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

I leave it in your hands, City. Making the world safe for hypocrisy.

I mean, "democracy."

[ooc: This (slightly late--sorry about that, had some connection issues!) poll will be open for twenty-four hours. So get them votes in! As always, please vote for characters ICly. No attempts at rigging the system beyond IC threats, bribes, etc, are allowed. As always as well, if your character declared his or her resignation from the election ICly, they've been taken off the list. Everyone play nice and have fun! PS. lemme know if anything is effed up with the code, yeah? >.>

PPS. WE ARE CHECKING FOR OOC JOURNALS. This is supposed to be an IC-vote based on nominations supplied officially. Remember to vote ICly. NOT OOCly, gaiz. Thanks. ^_^b]

Warden Nominations

2009-03-19T15:20:42Z

Oh well, that's clever. Who did that, I wonder? I could dig up the paperwork if I felt so inclined. It's there, stamped, signed, filed, somewhere. Blessed are the Knowledge Managers, for they shall inherit everything we leave them. Dangle dangle dangle strings, so puppetless, so sad, sadder than a limp puppet. I've had parking tickets for worse offense, though.

Did you see the sunset last night? That was the kind of sunset you hardly see any more, a 19th-century wilderness sunset, a few of which got set down, approximated, on canvas, landscapes of the American West by artists nobody ever heard of, when the last was still free and the eye innocent, and the presence of the Creator much more direct. It thundered over the sea, high and lonely, this anachronism in primal red, in yellow purer than can be found anywhere today, a purity begging to be polluted.

Of course Empire took its way westward, what other way was there but into those virgin sunsets to penetrate and to foul.

But out at the horizon, out near the burnished edge of the world, who are these visitors standing, these robed figures? Perhaps, at this distance, hundreds of miles tall--their faces, serene, unattached, like the Buddha's, bending over the sea, impassive, indeed, as the Angel that stood over Lubeck during the Palm Sunday raid, come on that day neither to destroy nor to protect, but to bear witness to a game of seduction.

What have the watchmen of world's edge come tonight to look for? Deepening on now, monumental beings, stoical, on toward slag, toward ash the color the night will stabilize at, tonight.

What is there grandiose enough to witness?

~~[ ]Citizens [ ]Toys [ ]Seeds [ ]Bitches [ ]Creatures [ ]You [ ]___________ (name)~~ [x]Residents :

Those of you who have been paying attention may realize that it is time, yet again for y/our regular reshuffling of ~~useless~~ offices. And we let it slip a bit.

Whoops. Our bad.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Come come, now. We're running a bit late, you know.

W A R D E N
N O M I N A T I O N S

Nominations are presently open. State equally openly and publicly to me, here, as a matter of record and for the requisite paperwork, the name of the one who is to be nominated.

If it is your name, I trust you have the mental capacity to understand what it is you are doing.
If it the name of someone else, I trust they know where to find you when you learn they do not wish to become a candidate and the rest is between the two of you.

You have twenty-four hours--starting now--to nominate candidates.

Candidates, be candid.
Platforms? Rules? Intentions? Expectations? Party lines?

Please remember: this is the wardenship at stake. Not the Secretariat of the League of Nations or the chairmanship of the ARF department or the presidency of Yoyodyne Industries.

But there is the illusion of the democratic process to be maintained. I know how these things work.

Campaigning may begin immediately after nomination. Be cutthroat, sling mud. I need a bit of entertainment. ~~Scrubbing up graffiti does that.~~ I'm hungry. Om nom nominees!

Behold, your illusions.

And the nominees are--?

[ooc: Warden nominations are now open! Characters can nominate other characters (or themselves) in this entry, and do so ICly please! But if nominating someone else, make sure you have that player's consent. Keep in mind that only characters approved before today can run. Nominations will be open for 24 hours starting now.

The election will take place as a poll post on tomorrow, and will be open for 24 hours. For my sake, please put the LJ username of the character being nominated in your nomination comment (all inclusion of usernames is automatically considered an OOC reference, of course). Have fun!]

A N N O U N C E M E N T

2009-01-25T17:22:12Z

N O T I C E:

We require a sample of hair from each citizen.

1. The sample must be no less than 5%.

2. The sample must be detached from the body (that is, cut, shaven, or plucked).

3. The total length of the sample is immaterial, but it must amount to 5%.

4. The sample must be one's own hair: this is not a group project, unlike previous assignments.

Samples will be expected at the Deity Offices by next Sunday. You have one week, therefore, to provide them.

Memorandum:
To: Mms Mouse, Sabine, Virginia, Lenny:
Re: Samples

I want to see these samples. Recent epidemics, inoculations, and recovery rates being what they were, likewise any inherent resistance to said diseases, moreover countries and worlds of origin, and general genetic makeup of the City at large. It is a genome project of a smaller scale, perhaps. There is data to be had in addition to record-keeping. It is my prerogative to obtain it.

Regards,
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf
###

Oh, yes, and those other things. The beer and the sugar and crying and so on. Do those too when you can find the time. This is in addition, if you've not already completed those.

Be glad we aren't requiring blood, bone, muscle tissue, etc. There is more and worse possible.

Bark less, wag more.

I will be in my office this afternoon.

[ooc: CHOP is on, and see the link for more information. Been getting some questions about this one and feel free to ask more. A lot of people don't like changing their character's appearance, but don't panic. Remember that you can secretly opt out if don't tell, and hair grows back (City!dead characters can have their hair grow back eventually or have it gone permanently as the player chooses).

The average human head has about 100,000-150,000 strands of hair and this doesn't include body hair (characters can deliver bodyhair if they want to... no really, bodyhair totally counts). So 5% of say 100,000 strands is 5,000 strands plucked or 10,000 strands cut halfway from the root or 20,000 strands cut three-quarters from the root or...keep going with the math. And people shed about 50-100 hairs a day. 5% is sort of roughly equivalent to one good-sized "lock" of hair, or about as much as gets taken off overall in the average trim. But nobody is expecting anyone to accurately measure this. The inability to accurately measure 5% can even be a cause for concern for characters. (Also, since it's been asked, if you think this would change your character's appearance enough, you can change your character's icons if you'd like.)]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-12-16T16:16:00

2008-12-16T21:19:48Z

Oh, well, damn.

[ooc: Zombies? Snow? Out of cigarettes? Something in his eye? General pandemonium? Someone didn't file a paper? Dropped a paperclip? Surrounded by women (more or less)? Someone spilled Rimmel all over the sink? A problem with making the cure? Hasn't finished his holiday shopping yet? Someone drank all the coffee and didn't bother to make more? (You know you can't bring that weak-ass stuff up in this hompty-bompty. You kill the joe, you make some mo'.) The world may never know. This is for teh frustrating lulz only. He won't say anything re: the zombie plot, cures, the general situation, or anything else at all.]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-12-11T20:18:00

2008-12-12T01:19:06Z

I'm hosting the victory celebrations again--such as they are? Does no one else care about our formalities except me? Why am I not left to tend to my projects? Everyone else is. Is this the price of my having worked at--

Poll's closed.

With 100% of precincts reporting, we extend our congratulations (or something like them) to (oh this really is a lark):

Death
the Kid

the newly-elected warden for the jail of the City.

One state, two state, red state, third estate.

Congratulations, etc, etc, surely a smooth transfer of power, paperwork and files to see to, meetings to attend, cabinetry 101 to see to--now go to prison and get to work.

Less bribery this time than I wanted. I like the Byzantine, you know. Every circle has it. "Don't speak ill of Palatino's project with the prawns. He has friends on the Nobel committee. Fawn, and see what that foxes you."

But I digress.

Maybe the really great bribes are all fobbed off now. Such a sad day. Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.

For the victor:

Congratulations snoitalutargnoC

--don't you like it?

~~Nero fiddled while Rome burned.~~

[ooc: Behold, your new warden, as voted by you! Nice race, nice turnout. Thanks guys! No you cannot see that strike. It might refer to the plot. It might night. Who's to know with this guy.]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-11-07T15:22:00

2008-11-07T20:29:58Z

Orderly lines for the vaccines, please, citizens.

There is enough of the vaccine for everyone to be innoculated in very short order and we are prepared to make more if necessary.

In the interest of full disclosure to the patients (I have ethics enough for that, thank you):

An inactivated vaccine (containing killed virus) is given with a needle, usually in the arm. The flu shot is approved for use in people older than 6 months, including healthy people and people with chronic medical conditions.

Each vaccine contains three viruses-one A (H3N2) virus, one A (H1N1) virus, and one B virus. The viruses in the vaccine change each year based on international surveillance and scientists' estimations about which types and strains of viruses will circulate in a given year.

About 2 weeks after vaccination, antibodies that provide protection against viral infection develop in the body.

People who should get vaccinated immediately are:

1. Children aged 6 months up to their 19th birthday
2. Pregnant women
3. People 50 years of age and older
4. People 50 years of age and younger
5. People of any age with certain chronic medical conditions
6. People who live in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities
7. People who live with or care for those at high risk for complications from flu, including:
a. Health care workers
b. Household contacts of persons at high risk for complications from the flu
c. Household contacts and out of home caregivers of children less than 6 months of age (these children are too young to be vaccinated)

Some minor side effects that could occur are:

* Soreness, redness, or swelling where the shot was given
* Fever (low grade)
* Aches

If these problems occur, they begin soon after the shot and usually last 1 to 2 days. Almost all people who receive influenza vaccine have no serious problems from it. However, on rare occasions, flu vaccination can cause serious problems, such as severe allergic reactions.

Consider your well-being and the well-being of others.

I do not mean to sound like the leader of some father-knows-best dictatorship, but these vaccinations are for your own good.

In this instance, I invoke the old creed. I am a doctor: primum non nocere.

[ooc: Can you trust the Pavlovian? Really? PS: Special thanks to the CDC's influenza website for the delishus copypasta :3]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-10-27T22:06:00

2008-10-28T02:08:09Z

You win some, you lose some.

What were the odds again?

Oh, that's right. We didn't say. Isn't that a nifty twist on gambling.

I made my speech on gambling, wins versus losses and the dopamine associated therewith, before. I don't feel like doing it again. Just reread it. It's still there on the Network, buried amongst your whining. Really, if you didn't like dancing, you could have bet. Then you might have had something to look forward to.

Or you could bet on yourself--or against yourself. They get pulling jockeys sometimes, you know. Nice way to make a killing there. Bet heavily, then make sure the right one wins. Or loses. Worse has been done.

That's more psychology for you: betting, we think, is more certain than gambling, though it's much the same. The variables are more controlled: it is not seemingly (note that) random, as a die or a card. It is, for example, a horse, it is a known thing, it is an animal whose records and abilities are noted. The track is noted. The weather is noted. The jockey is noted. We feel the variables are controlled. The risk of chance is lessened.

It is an investment in a bond, not a gamble on a stock.

Well, enough mixed metaphors.

There used to be an old motto amongst bookies. Something friendly. Something reassuring. That is: we always pay!

And so do you.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Closing the books on that last escapade.

Those of you who actually won a bet--or think you did--you may collect your winnings at the office.

ROY G BIV, as ever.

Yours, very sincerely,
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf (abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz etc.)

[ooc: For those who asked~ this list of nicknames is this list, just...in nicknames. The order is the same both times. I used the list as posted there for my naming of teams and dancers. I'll explain if you WTF XD I had fun coming up with the names--there are reasons behind them, idiosyncratic as they might be...]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-10-23T22:52:00

2008-10-24T02:52:49Z

Betting. Honestly.

The reactions in the brain when one is winning and one is losing in gambling are quite strong. Positive (winning) begets positive and leads one to keep winning, negative (losing) begets negative and leads one to keep trying. Pleasure-seeking creatures that human beings are, it can be quite addictive.

It's my favourite concept again: good old conditioned response.

It's like muscle memory or anything else. Those isolated synapses firing off into the motor nerves, sparking alone, unencumbered by consciousness or decisions. SO blessedly isolated, a lonely star in the depths of the brain. And the distances to and from that star would astonish, from 1 to -1, and what a difference that makes.

Well, now, after all that thinking, wouldn't it be nice to play a little game? I know one we can play.

Well, do your part for the City. Place your bets. I can keep book.

Don't understand?

You'll see.

Oh, why not: chose the winning teams. Please.

Your teams (yes, teams this time, imagine, what could it be?):

The Firebirds versus The Fledglings
Society versus The Establishment
The Bold and the Beautiful versus Midnight Love versus Lions & Tigers versus Ophelianica
Black on Black versus Sugar Spirit
Cupid versus The Dove
Benny Lava ♥ versus Three Degrees Above 100
Nailin' It versus Rockin' Rough
Boyz Will B Boyz versus Fluffernutters
Beat It versus Book It
Yin Yang versus Thoughts In My Mind
Hell on Heels versus Hard Body Baby
Through the Glass Darkly versus Bling Bling Bling
The Black and Pinks versus The Red and Blacks
Put On Your Red Shoes versus Pink Sugar Heart Attack
3 Piece x 4 + 1 versus 3 Piece + 1
Baryshnikov Baby♥ versus The New Hotness
Beauty & The Beast versus Give It Away Now
Locked In and Loaded versus Sakura ♥ Musume
Flying Chaussures versus Flying Chausettes
Chocolate Strawberries versus Straighlaced and Buttoned
Sexy Back 2 Back versus There Oughta Be a Law!
Sweetness and Light versus Rectitude and Fortitude

Just remember to pay your debts. No one likes a debtor.

No one.

Onward and upward.

[ooc: IDEK about those names. Laszlo's a wild and crazy guy. ...I can actually explain some of them lol... BET PLZ :D]

WARDEN RESULTS

2008-09-08T15:18:44Z

Polls are now closed.

With 100% of precincts reporting, we extend our congratulations (or something like them) to (stupid as I feel saying this, you Jungo-Freudian peculiarity)

Prince
Charming

the newly-elected warden for the jail of the City.

I'm sure the transfer of power will go smoothly. I'll leave it to the media to name the election a landslide or a nose. No "Dewey Defeats Truman" papers this time. Pity.

I wonder if we'll see the bribes turn up as a tax write-off someday. If there ever are taxes.

At least there weren't any electoral colleges or chads or butterfly ballots or electronic voting machi--well, perhaps the last. Dear paper trails, dear paper bills.

He's only a warden.
It's you lot who've made it into something else.
Names are power, I suppose.

I'm only here to collect the ballots.

[ooc: Behold, your new warden. Awesome turnout, guys XD Randomly, I just want to say that it was kind of oddly fun and exciting to watch the votes come in yesterday |D I kept checking the poll, and it was quite dramatic, with one pulling ahead, then another, then tied--there were ties for a while. So, thanks to everyone for voting. POLY people of legal voting age worldwide? DO THE SAME THING IRL :Dv]

Warden Elections

2008-09-07T14:54:38Z

There is a great tradition of voting amongst the Swiss. They vote for leash laws and land use, they vote for gasoline taxes and egg importation, they vote on war and peace. And they all vote. Such turnout! Such devotion to the democratic process! How do they do it?

They intimidate one another. Obviously. Voting is what one does. One goes to the polling place to see and be seen. And if you're not seen?

People will talk. Shameful.

There is no greater motivator than Other People. Sociology at work.

That, or it's something in the water.

WARDEN
ELECTIONS

Cast your votes here:

View Poll: #1255172

Poll poll poll like a baby vole.
Vote vote vote like a baby stoat.

[ooc: This (slightly late) poll will be open for twenty-four hours, until Monday, September 8, 2008, 11:00AM EST [I fail at 24hr time, stfu]. So get them votes in! As always, please vote for characters ICly. No attempts at rigging the system beyond IC threats, bribes, etc. As always as well, if your character declared his or her resignation from the election ICly, they've been taken off the list. Everyone play nice and have fun! PS. lemme know if anything is effed up with the code, yeah? >.>

PPS. WE ARE CHECKING FOR OOC JOURNALS. This is supposed to be an IC-vote based on nominations supplied officially. Remember to vote ICly. NOT OOCly, gaiz. Thanks. ^_^b]

Warden Nominations

2008-09-05T12:47:26Z

~~[ ]Citizens [ ]Toys [ ]Seeds [ ]Bitches [ ]Creatures [ ]You [ ]___________ (name)~~
[x]Residents :

Those of you who have been paying attention may realize that it is time, yet again for y/our regular reshuffling of ~~useless~~ offices.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Come come, now.

W A R D E N
N O M I N A T I O N S

Nominations are presently open. State equally openly and publicly to me, here, as a matter of record and for the requisite paperwork, the name of the one who is to be nominated.

If it is your name, I trust you have the mental capacity to understand what it is you are doing.
If it the name of someone else, I trust they know where to find you when you learn they do not wish to become a candidate.

You have twenty-four hours--starting now--to nominate candidates.

Candidates, be candid.
Platforms? Rules? Intentions? Expectations? Party lines?

Please remember: this is the wardenship at stake. Not the Secretariat of the League of Nations or the chairmanship of the ARF department or the presidency of Yoyodyne Industries.

But there is the illusion of the democratic process to be maintained.

Campaigning may begin immediately after nomination.

Proceed.

THE NOMINEES
Pup [wee_hellpuppy]
Hitsugaya Toushirou [boobheight]
Ophelia [therippling]
Prince Charming [cocksmanship]

[ooc: Warden nominations are now open! Characters can nominate other characters (or themselves) in this entry--do so ICly please! If nominating someone else, make sure you have that player's consent. Keep in mind that only characters approved before September 5th can run. Nominations will be open for 24 hours starting now (so until about 9 AM EDT September 6th).

The election will take place as a poll post on September 7th, and will be open for 24 hours (until September 8th). For my sake, please put the LJ username of the character being nominated in your nomination comment (all inclusion of usernames is automatically considered an OOC reference, of course). Have fun!]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-06-28T13:54:00

2008-06-28T17:55:50Z

Mice in the maze...

Hurry, scurry, before we change it again.

Don't worry: develops intelligence.

Just learn.

~~Shocks come later.~~

[ooc: Uhh...lol posting from work? ~~I got bored...~~]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-05-12T10:38:00

2008-05-12T14:40:14Z

~~DAMN IT ALL NO ORDER NO SENSE NO PROPRIETY NO ORGANIZATION NO NOTHING! WHO DID WHAT?~~

M E M O R A N D U M

~~[ ]Citizens~~ ~~[ ]Toys~~ ~~[ ]Seeds~~ ~~[ ]Bitches~~ ~~[ ]Creatures~~ ~~[ ]You~~ ~~[ ]___________ (name)~~
[x]Residents :

Recent events have made it clear that there is a disconnection among the residents of the City. You have observed it. It is no illusion.

The specifics of these recent events cannot be made publicly known; we appreciate your understanding.

However, for certain citizens, it is possible to ~~break on through to the other side~~ be reunited with those of their acquaintance.

In light of that, provided the appropriate payment is provided, and the records maintained, those certain citizens will be permitted reunion.

To provide necessary payment for permission:

1. Complete the appropriate forms in triplicate at the Deity Offices ~~yes, that damned elephant~~. Pens will be made available.

2. Sign in agreement of necessary payment for entrance.

3. Submit payment. (Specifics of payment only available upon completion of paperwork. No alternative forms of payment will be acceptable.)

Please.

Form an orderly line.

~~Sincerely:~~
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf (BS, MS, MD, PhD, HD, PR, HVAC, KoG, LG, RIT, SR, ITR, LCR, DR, PRFR, &c.)

[ooc: This is a deity mirror City trading post.

Trades can be mocklogged or assumed, since you can trade any time this week to get into the mirror City. Your character must give up either a power or one of the five senses as a ticket in, and we know you'll choose a good one to give up. They'll get their power or sense back when they get out of mirror city, but don't expect Laszlo to tell them that. Have fun! No you can't see the strikes, and yes he was listening to the Doors.]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-03-30T19:04:00

2008-03-30T23:04:47Z

Bravo, bravo, bravissimo.

[ooc: Mad psychologist lols at you. All apologies. Real OCD is not so much a laughing matter and can be painfully crippling emotionally and mentally for those who have it. /PSA.]

laszlo_jamf @ 2008-03-02T18:27:00

2008-03-02T23:27:57Z

...

... ... ...

There is no precedent.
There is no meaning.
There is no explanation.

...some physiological basis for what seems very odd behavior.

...

Damn you all, I knew this was what the 4027 A/B form was for!

Ferocia Coutura, you are not only a reflex-response anomaly, you will never get away with this!

... ... ...

Perhaps you can be trained. Botched already...

The... ... ..."Hammer Girl" is fired.

[ooc: Your new deity is here, abandoned, cranky, and none too keen on paperwork.]