Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf ([info]laszlo_jamf) wrote,
@ 2009-01-25 12:18:00
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A N N O U N C E M E N T
N O T I C E:


We require a sample of hair from each citizen.

1. The sample must be no less than 5%.

2. The sample must be detached from the body (that is, cut, shaven, or plucked).

3. The total length of the sample is immaterial, but it must amount to 5%.

4. The sample must be one's own hair: this is not a group project, unlike previous assignments.

Samples will be expected at the Deity Offices by next Sunday. You have one week, therefore, to provide them.

Memorandum:
To: Mms Mouse, Sabine, Virginia, Lenny:
Re: Samples

I want to see these samples. Recent epidemics, inoculations, and recovery rates being what they were, likewise any inherent resistance to said diseases, moreover countries and worlds of origin, and general genetic makeup of the City at large. It is a genome project of a smaller scale, perhaps. There is data to be had in addition to record-keeping. It is my prerogative to obtain it.

Regards,
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf
###

Oh, yes, and those other things. The beer and the sugar and crying and so on. Do those too when you can find the time. This is in addition, if you've not already completed those.

Be glad we aren't requiring blood, bone, muscle tissue, etc. There is more and worse possible.

Bark less, wag more.

I will be in my office this afternoon.

[ooc: CHOP is on, and see the link for more information. Been getting some questions about this one and feel free to ask more. A lot of people don't like changing their character's appearance, but don't panic. Remember that you can secretly opt out if don't tell, and hair grows back (City!dead characters can have their hair grow back eventually or have it gone permanently as the player chooses).

The average human head has about 100,000-150,000 strands of hair and this doesn't include body hair (characters can deliver bodyhair if they want to... no really, bodyhair totally counts). So 5% of say 100,000 strands is 5,000 strands plucked or 10,000 strands cut halfway from the root or 20,000 strands cut three-quarters from the root or...keep going with the math. And people shed about 50-100 hairs a day. 5% is sort of roughly equivalent to one good-sized "lock" of hair, or about as much as gets taken off overall in the average trim. But nobody is expecting anyone to accurately measure this. The inability to accurately measure 5% can even be a cause for concern for characters. (Also, since it's been asked, if you think this would change your character's appearance enough, you can change your character's icons if you'd like.)]



(112 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]lovingmybamfgun
2009-01-25 05:29 pm UTC (link)
That doesn't sound that bad.

[ooc: nonexistent comment, because this could possibly jinx it.]

(Reply to this)


[info]seeking_heat
2009-01-25 05:50 pm UTC (link)
...There's a saying that goes, "A woman's hair is her life." Going by that, you are asking me to give 5% of my life?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 05:51 pm UTC (link)
I could ask you to take a 5% solution of arsenic.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seeking_heat, 2009-01-25 06:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 06:09 pm UTC

[info]1inageneration
2009-01-25 05:59 pm UTC (link)
Sorry, I happen to like my hair.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 06:01 pm UTC (link)
Sorry, I happen to like my job.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

OH MY GOD IT'S THE CREEPY DOCTOR GUY FROM BUFFY - [info]1inageneration, 2009-01-25 06:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 06:08 pm UTC

[info]theotokos
2009-01-25 06:34 pm UTC (link)
Because this doesn't look any more suspicious.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Keywords, plz ._.v
[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 06:38 pm UTC (link)
I'm the picture of innocence.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]concept_killer
2009-01-25 08:12 pm UTC (link)
Wait a second. What will someone do if they're a monk who is clean shaven all over? Are they out of luck? Not that I've seen any around but you can never be too sure.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 08:18 pm UTC (link)
Hair does grow, doesn't it? And such a person would have a week, wouldn't they?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]concept_killer, 2009-01-25 08:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 08:23 pm UTC

[info]toonurturing
2009-01-25 08:49 pm UTC (link)
Of course, the Professor is the one who would get them from Sabine.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 08:50 pm UTC (link)
Thank you. Truly a help. Advancement of studies. Etc.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

check your phone my love~! - [info]toonurturing, 2009-01-25 08:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 08:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]toonurturing, 2009-01-25 09:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 09:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]toonurturing, 2009-01-25 09:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 09:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]toonurturing, 2009-01-26 01:24 am UTC

[info]i_themagician
2009-01-25 09:12 pm UTC (link)
May I inquire as to the methods being used for this research?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

I'm sorrry he's such a jerk
[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 09:13 pm UTC (link)
...

No, you may not.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

XD I lol'd. - [info]i_themagician, 2009-01-25 09:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 09:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]i_themagician, 2009-01-25 09:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]i_themagician, 2009-01-26 06:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 07:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]i_themagician, 2009-01-26 07:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]i_themagician, 2009-01-26 07:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]i_themagician, 2009-01-26 07:23 am UTC

[info]notaleftover
2009-01-25 09:13 pm UTC (link)
What about hypothetical lizard people?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 09:13 pm UTC (link)
Scales, spines, and/or scrapings of scales.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]justashow
2009-01-25 10:40 pm UTC (link)
I'd rather give blood.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 11:40 pm UTC (link)
No dice.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]justashow, 2009-01-25 11:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]justashow, 2009-01-25 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]justashow, 2009-01-25 11:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]justashow, 2009-01-26 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:02 am UTC

[info]leanandgreen
2009-01-25 10:47 pm UTC (link)
I'm don't have anything that could count as hair on any part of my body.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 11:40 pm UTC (link)
I'll take a skin sample. Just a scrape.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]specialagentgf
2009-01-25 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Why do you need samples of our hair?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 11:42 pm UTC (link)
Because.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-25 11:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-25 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-25 11:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:09 am UTC
1/2 - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:11 am UTC
2/2 - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]specialagentgf, 2009-01-26 12:46 am UTC

[info]chasingmorning
2009-01-25 11:38 pm UTC (link)
What-? I don't...I mean...

What if you don't have enough hair on your head?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-25 11:41 pm UTC (link)
Eyebrows, perhaps? Etc?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

no words ;-; - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-25 11:48 pm UTC
He's such a jerk ;_; - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:50 pm UTC
No foolin' D< - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-25 11:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-25 11:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-26 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-26 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-26 12:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-26 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-26 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:28 am UTC
invisible keysmash - [info]chasingmorning, 2009-01-26 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]necromerchant, 2009-01-26 01:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 01:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]necromerchant, 2009-01-26 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]necromerchant, 2009-01-26 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 01:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]necromerchant, 2009-01-26 01:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 01:39 am UTC

[info]fatespoken
2009-01-26 12:03 am UTC (link)
...Yeah.

How about no?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-26 12:09 am UTC (link)
You mean to refuse?

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fatespoken, 2009-01-26 12:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fatespoken, 2009-01-26 12:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-26 12:30 am UTC

[info]tenmorehours
2009-01-26 12:33 am UTC (link)
...5%? That's...let's see...if I measure my hair and then multiply--no--divide? Er...

Okay. I'll get on it.

I still need to find a way to make Rosette cry, too...

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-26 12:34 am UTC (link)
Splendid, splendid.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]doujin_dork
2009-01-26 12:36 am UTC (link)
Oh! This one's pretty easy.

But- uh, we can't, say, give ten per cent of out hair to cover for someone else?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]laszlo_jamf
2009-01-26 07:15 am UTC (link)
Please see point 4: this is not a group project, unlike previous assignments.

Short answer: no.

[ooc: I'm so sorry this response is so late!]

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]doujin_dork, 2009-01-27 04:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-27 04:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doujin_dork, 2009-01-28 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]laszlo_jamf, 2009-01-28 11:14 am UTC

(112 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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