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Apr. 26th, 2009

Semi-supercilious

(no subject)

Whee.

[ooc: Earthquake? Rainstorms? Wars? Nice weather? Mocking you? Riding a roller coaster? Trust exercises in the deity offices? Playing with Gregor? Stealing the last doughnut from the break room? Rolling around his office on a liberated mesh-y office chair (that's trickle-down ergonomics)? Trying to piss you off? This is for teh frustrating lulz only. He won't say anything re: the earthquake or what might come of it (ominous omninous ominous~). Rock on. Mr. Deadpan Dick strikes again!]

Apr. 1st, 2009

Semi-supercilious

Why I Do What I Do

White Rabbit, White Rabbit.

April Fools.

I liked the display yesterday. Very quaint. Very 1968.

Needs more crowds around here.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

[ooc: Because he's a dick. So I decided to post with him for lulz. Him him, if you'd like.]

Mar. 26th, 2009

Is unamused by your bullshit

Cutlers Grammar School Announcement

Gentlemen, I suggest you study this chart well:



How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

[ooc: Yes. I went there.]

Mar. 21st, 2009

Semi-supercilious

Warden Election Results

I like voting. Is there something so wrong with that?

POLL'S CLOSED


With 100% of precincts now reporting (and no hanging chads here, thank you very much, but no paper trail either, bless ye electronic voting, and how does that make you feel?), we extend our congratulations (or something like them) to

Hiro Nakamura


as newly-elected warden for the jail of the City.

Now wasn't that amusing?

Congratulations, etc, etc, surely a smooth transfer of power, paperwork and files to see to, meetings to attend, cabinetry 101 to see to--now go to prison and get to work.

First time in a while we've seen the actual platforms put forth. Campaigning! Actual campaigning! Well done there. Next time let's try for door-to-door nonsense and maybe a few signs in the yard. Always amusing. Maybe City-sponsored debates. Perhaps more presentation of platforms. Rallies. Vice-wardens.

Maybe just signs in the yard.

For the victor:



Rather charming, I think.

Watchers at world's edge.

[ooc: Ta dah, new warden! It was a close one! I had fun watching the poll, that's for sure. Rock on with your bad selves!]

Mar. 20th, 2009

Gregor haets u

Warden Elections

I think I was a little off yesterday. Someone swapped out my cigarettes, I think.

You know, one of my favorite pastimes is to go down the square and watch what all of you are wearing. I'm not sure if it's all ethnic, cultural, or fashionable. It's entertaining. Denim blue jeans tucked into boots. I'll never understand. I'm too old for this. I think I liked the girl wearing ten pounds (at least) of ruffles best.

The warm weather is making me lazy, I think.

No, don't look for me on the square. You won't recognize me.

What does that do to you? Hic et ubique. Ladies and gentlemen, I am the Network.

But not today.

I was supposed to actually say something--

Oh, right. This:

Vote vote vote like a baby stoat.

WARDEN
ELECTIONS


I hope there's be a little mudslinging. At least the campaigning has been interesting. If a little, what's the phrase, "teal deer."

Warden Elections.

Poll #1368891 Warden Elections
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

For Warden of the City

View Answers

Hiro Nakamura ([info]ibrokehistory)
54 (51.9%)

Setsuna F. Seiei ([info]denyinurgod)
50 (48.1%)



Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

I leave it in your hands, City. Making the world safe for hypocrisy.

I mean, "democracy."

[ooc: This (slightly late--sorry about that, had some connection issues!) poll will be open for twenty-four hours. So get them votes in! As always, please vote for characters ICly. No attempts at rigging the system beyond IC threats, bribes, etc, are allowed. As always as well, if your character declared his or her resignation from the election ICly, they've been taken off the list. Everyone play nice and have fun! PS. lemme know if anything is effed up with the code, yeah? >.>

PPS. WE ARE CHECKING FOR OOC JOURNALS. This is supposed to be an IC-vote based on nominations supplied officially. Remember to vote ICly. NOT OOCly, gaiz. Thanks. ^_^b]

Mar. 19th, 2009

Pale plastic ubiquity

Warden Nominations

Oh well, that's clever. Who did that, I wonder? I could dig up the paperwork if I felt so inclined. It's there, stamped, signed, filed, somewhere. Blessed are the Knowledge Managers, for they shall inherit everything we leave them. Dangle dangle dangle strings, so puppetless, so sad, sadder than a limp puppet. I've had parking tickets for worse offense, though.

Did you see the sunset last night? That was the kind of sunset you hardly see any more, a 19th-century wilderness sunset, a few of which got set down, approximated, on canvas, landscapes of the American West by artists nobody ever heard of, when the last was still free and the eye innocent, and the presence of the Creator much more direct. It thundered over the sea, high and lonely, this anachronism in primal red, in yellow purer than can be found anywhere today, a purity begging to be polluted.

Of course Empire took its way westward, what other way was there but into those virgin sunsets to penetrate and to foul.

But out at the horizon, out near the burnished edge of the world, who are these visitors standing, these robed figures? Perhaps, at this distance, hundreds of miles tall--their faces, serene, unattached, like the Buddha's, bending over the sea, impassive, indeed, as the Angel that stood over Lubeck during the Palm Sunday raid, come on that day neither to destroy nor to protect, but to bear witness to a game of seduction.

What have the watchmen of world's edge come tonight to look for? Deepening on now, monumental beings, stoical, on toward slag, toward ash the color the night will stabilize at, tonight.

What is there grandiose enough to witness?


[ ]Citizens [ ]Toys [ ]Seeds [ ]Bitches [ ]Creatures [ ]You [ ]___________ (name) [x]Residents :

Those of you who have been paying attention may realize that it is time, yet again for y/our regular reshuffling of useless offices. And we let it slip a bit.

Whoops. Our bad.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Come come, now. We're running a bit late, you know.

W A R D E N
N O M I N A T I O N S


Nominations are presently open. State equally openly and publicly to me, here, as a matter of record and for the requisite paperwork, the name of the one who is to be nominated.

If it is your name, I trust you have the mental capacity to understand what it is you are doing.
If it the name of someone else, I trust they know where to find you when you learn they do not wish to become a candidate and the rest is between the two of you.

You have twenty-four hours--starting now--to nominate candidates.

Candidates, be candid.
Platforms? Rules? Intentions? Expectations? Party lines?

Please remember: this is the wardenship at stake. Not the Secretariat of the League of Nations or the chairmanship of the ARF department or the presidency of Yoyodyne Industries.

But there is the illusion of the democratic process to be maintained. I know how these things work.

Campaigning may begin immediately after nomination. Be cutthroat, sling mud. I need a bit of entertainment. Scrubbing up graffiti does that. I'm hungry. Om nom nominees!

Behold, your illusions.

And the nominees are--?

[ooc: Warden nominations are now open! Characters can nominate other characters (or themselves) in this entry, and do so ICly please! But if nominating someone else, make sure you have that player's consent. Keep in mind that only characters approved before today can run. Nominations will be open for 24 hours starting now.

The election will take place as a poll post on tomorrow, and will be open for 24 hours. For my sake, please put the LJ username of the character being nominated in your nomination comment (all inclusion of usernames is automatically considered an OOC reference, of course). Have fun!]

Jan. 25th, 2009

I can do srs bzns

A N N O U N C E M E N T

N O T I C E:


We require a sample of hair from each citizen.

1. The sample must be no less than 5%.

2. The sample must be detached from the body (that is, cut, shaven, or plucked).

3. The total length of the sample is immaterial, but it must amount to 5%.

4. The sample must be one's own hair: this is not a group project, unlike previous assignments.

Samples will be expected at the Deity Offices by next Sunday. You have one week, therefore, to provide them.

Memorandum:
To: Mms Mouse, Sabine, Virginia, Lenny:
Re: Samples

I want to see these samples. Recent epidemics, inoculations, and recovery rates being what they were, likewise any inherent resistance to said diseases, moreover countries and worlds of origin, and general genetic makeup of the City at large. It is a genome project of a smaller scale, perhaps. There is data to be had in addition to record-keeping. It is my prerogative to obtain it.

Regards,
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf
###

Oh, yes, and those other things. The beer and the sugar and crying and so on. Do those too when you can find the time. This is in addition, if you've not already completed those.

Be glad we aren't requiring blood, bone, muscle tissue, etc. There is more and worse possible.

Bark less, wag more.

I will be in my office this afternoon.

[ooc: tl;dr notes] )

Dec. 16th, 2008

Is unamused by your bullshit

(no subject)

Oh, well, damn.

[ooc: Zombies? Snow? Out of cigarettes? Something in his eye? General pandemonium? Someone didn't file a paper? Dropped a paperclip? Surrounded by women (more or less)? Someone spilled Rimmel all over the sink? A problem with making the cure? Hasn't finished his holiday shopping yet? Someone drank all the coffee and didn't bother to make more? (You know you can't bring that weak-ass stuff up in this hompty-bompty. You kill the joe, you make some mo'.) The world may never know. This is for teh frustrating lulz only. He won't say anything re: the zombie plot, cures, the general situation, or anything else at all.]

Dec. 11th, 2008

Pale plastic ubiquity

(no subject)

I'm hosting the victory celebrations again--such as they are? Does no one else care about our formalities except me? Why am I not left to tend to my projects? Everyone else is. Is this the price of my having worked at--

Poll's closed.


With 100% of precincts reporting, we extend our congratulations (or something like them) to (oh this really is a lark):

Death
the Kid


the newly-elected warden for the jail of the City.

One state, two state, red state, third estate.

Congratulations, etc, etc, surely a smooth transfer of power, paperwork and files to see to, meetings to attend, cabinetry 101 to see to--now go to prison and get to work.

Less bribery this time than I wanted. I like the Byzantine, you know. Every circle has it. "Don't speak ill of Palatino's project with the prawns. He has friends on the Nobel committee. Fawn, and see what that foxes you."

But I digress.

Maybe the really great bribes are all fobbed off now. Such a sad day. Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.

For the victor:

Congratulations snoitalutargnoC


--don't you like it?

Nero fiddled while Rome burned.

[ooc: Behold, your new warden, as voted by you! Nice race, nice turnout. Thanks guys! No you cannot see that strike. It might refer to the plot. It might night. Who's to know with this guy.]

Nov. 7th, 2008

Is unamused by your bullshit

(no subject)

Orderly lines for the vaccines, please, citizens.

There is enough of the vaccine for everyone to be innoculated in very short order and we are prepared to make more if necessary.

In the interest of full disclosure to the patients (I have ethics enough for that, thank you):

An inactivated vaccine (containing killed virus) is given with a needle, usually in the arm. The flu shot is approved for use in people older than 6 months, including healthy people and people with chronic medical conditions.

Each vaccine contains three viruses-one A (H3N2) virus, one A (H1N1) virus, and one B virus. The viruses in the vaccine change each year based on international surveillance and scientists' estimations about which types and strains of viruses will circulate in a given year.

About 2 weeks after vaccination, antibodies that provide protection against viral infection develop in the body.

People who should get vaccinated immediately are:

1. Children aged 6 months up to their 19th birthday
2. Pregnant women
3. People 50 years of age and older
4. People 50 years of age and younger
5. People of any age with certain chronic medical conditions
6. People who live in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities
7. People who live with or care for those at high risk for complications from flu, including:
a. Health care workers
b. Household contacts of persons at high risk for complications from the flu
c. Household contacts and out of home caregivers of children less than 6 months of age (these children are too young to be vaccinated)

Some minor side effects that could occur are:

* Soreness, redness, or swelling where the shot was given
* Fever (low grade)
* Aches

If these problems occur, they begin soon after the shot and usually last 1 to 2 days. Almost all people who receive influenza vaccine have no serious problems from it. However, on rare occasions, flu vaccination can cause serious problems, such as severe allergic reactions.

Consider your well-being and the well-being of others.

I do not mean to sound like the leader of some father-knows-best dictatorship, but these vaccinations are for your own good.

In this instance, I invoke the old creed. I am a doctor: primum non nocere.

[ooc: Can you trust the Pavlovian? Really? PS: Special thanks to the CDC's influenza website for the delishus copypasta :3]

Oct. 27th, 2008

Gregor haets u

(no subject)

You win some, you lose some.

What were the odds again?

Oh, that's right. We didn't say. Isn't that a nifty twist on gambling.

I made my speech on gambling, wins versus losses and the dopamine associated therewith, before. I don't feel like doing it again. Just reread it. It's still there on the Network, buried amongst your whining. Really, if you didn't like dancing, you could have bet. Then you might have had something to look forward to.

Or you could bet on yourself--or against yourself. They get pulling jockeys sometimes, you know. Nice way to make a killing there. Bet heavily, then make sure the right one wins. Or loses. Worse has been done.

That's more psychology for you: betting, we think, is more certain than gambling, though it's much the same. The variables are more controlled: it is not seemingly (note that) random, as a die or a card. It is, for example, a horse, it is a known thing, it is an animal whose records and abilities are noted. The track is noted. The weather is noted. The jockey is noted. We feel the variables are controlled. The risk of chance is lessened.

It is an investment in a bond, not a gamble on a stock.

Well, enough mixed metaphors.

There used to be an old motto amongst bookies. Something friendly. Something reassuring. That is: we always pay!

And so do you.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Closing the books on that last escapade.

Those of you who actually won a bet--or think you did--you may collect your winnings at the office.

ROY G BIV, as ever.

Yours, very sincerely,
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf (abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz etc.)

[ooc: For those who asked~ this list of nicknames is this list, just...in nicknames. The order is the same both times. I used the list as posted there for my naming of teams and dancers. I'll explain if you WTF XD I had fun coming up with the names--there are reasons behind them, idiosyncratic as they might be...]

Oct. 23rd, 2008

Is unamused by your bullshit

(no subject)

Betting. Honestly.

The reactions in the brain when one is winning and one is losing in gambling are quite strong. Positive (winning) begets positive and leads one to keep winning, negative (losing) begets negative and leads one to keep trying. Pleasure-seeking creatures that human beings are, it can be quite addictive.

It's my favourite concept again: good old conditioned response.

It's like muscle memory or anything else. Those isolated synapses firing off into the motor nerves, sparking alone, unencumbered by consciousness or decisions. SO blessedly isolated, a lonely star in the depths of the brain. And the distances to and from that star would astonish, from 1 to -1, and what a difference that makes.

Well, now, after all that thinking, wouldn't it be nice to play a little game? I know one we can play.

Well, do your part for the City. Place your bets. I can keep book.

Don't understand?

You'll see.

Oh, why not: chose the winning teams. Please.

Your teams (yes, teams this time, imagine, what could it be?):

The Firebirds versus The Fledglings
Society versus The Establishment
The Bold and the Beautiful versus Midnight Love versus Lions & Tigers versus Ophelianica
Black on Black versus Sugar Spirit
Cupid versus The Dove
Benny Lava ♥ versus Three Degrees Above 100
Nailin' It versus Rockin' Rough
Boyz Will B Boyz versus Fluffernutters
Beat It versus Book It
Yin Yang versus Thoughts In My Mind
Hell on Heels versus Hard Body Baby
Through the Glass Darkly versus Bling Bling Bling
The Black and Pinks versus The Red and Blacks
Put On Your Red Shoes versus Pink Sugar Heart Attack
3 Piece x 4 + 1 versus 3 Piece + 1
Baryshnikov Baby♥ versus The New Hotness
Beauty & The Beast versus Give It Away Now
Locked In and Loaded versus Sakura ♥ Musume
Flying Chaussures versus Flying Chausettes
Chocolate Strawberries versus Straighlaced and Buttoned
Sexy Back 2 Back versus There Oughta Be a Law!
Sweetness and Light versus Rectitude and Fortitude

Just remember to pay your debts. No one likes a debtor.

No one.

Onward and upward.

[ooc: IDEK about those names. Laszlo's a wild and crazy guy. ...I can actually explain some of them lol... BET PLZ :D]

Sep. 8th, 2008

Semi-supercilious

WARDEN RESULTS

Polls are now closed.

With 100% of precincts reporting, we extend our congratulations (or something like them) to (stupid as I feel saying this, you Jungo-Freudian peculiarity)

Prince
Charming


the newly-elected warden for the jail of the City.

I'm sure the transfer of power will go smoothly. I'll leave it to the media to name the election a landslide or a nose. No "Dewey Defeats Truman" papers this time. Pity.

I wonder if we'll see the bribes turn up as a tax write-off someday. If there ever are taxes.

At least there weren't any electoral colleges or chads or butterfly ballots or electronic voting machi--well, perhaps the last. Dear paper trails, dear paper bills.

He's only a warden.
It's you lot who've made it into something else.
Names are power, I suppose.

I'm only here to collect the ballots.

[ooc: Behold, your new warden. Awesome turnout, guys XD Randomly, I just want to say that it was kind of oddly fun and exciting to watch the votes come in yesterday |D I kept checking the poll, and it was quite dramatic, with one pulling ahead, then another, then tied--there were ties for a while. So, thanks to everyone for voting. POLY people of legal voting age worldwide? DO THE SAME THING IRL :Dv]

Sep. 7th, 2008

Is unamused by your bullshit

Warden Elections

There is a great tradition of voting amongst the Swiss. They vote for leash laws and land use, they vote for gasoline taxes and egg importation, they vote on war and peace. And they all vote. Such turnout! Such devotion to the democratic process! How do they do it?

They intimidate one another. Obviously. Voting is what one does. One goes to the polling place to see and be seen. And if you're not seen?

People will talk. Shameful.

There is no greater motivator than Other People. Sociology at work.

That, or it's something in the water.

WARDEN
ELECTIONS


Cast your votes here:

Poll #1255172
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

For City Warden

View Answers

Pup [[info]wee_hellpuppy]
15 (11.1%)

Hitsugaya Toushirou [[info]boobheight]
53 (39.3%)

Ophelia [[info]therippling]
11 (8.1%)

Prince Charming [[info]cocksmanship]
56 (41.5%)



Poll poll poll like a baby vole.
Vote vote vote like a baby stoat.


[ooc: This (slightly late) poll will be open for twenty-four hours, until Monday, September 8, 2008, 11:00AM EST [I fail at 24hr time, stfu]. So get them votes in! As always, please vote for characters ICly. No attempts at rigging the system beyond IC threats, bribes, etc. As always as well, if your character declared his or her resignation from the election ICly, they've been taken off the list. Everyone play nice and have fun! PS. lemme know if anything is effed up with the code, yeah? >.>

PPS. WE ARE CHECKING FOR OOC JOURNALS. This is supposed to be an IC-vote based on nominations supplied officially. Remember to vote ICly. NOT OOCly, gaiz. Thanks. ^_^b]

Sep. 5th, 2008

Gregor haets u

Warden Nominations

[ ]Citizens [ ]Toys [ ]Seeds [ ]Bitches [ ]Creatures [ ]You [ ]___________ (name)
[x]Residents :

Those of you who have been paying attention may realize that it is time, yet again for y/our regular reshuffling of useless offices.

Nature abhors a vacuum. Come come, now.

W A R D E N
N O M I N A T I O N S


Nominations are presently open. State equally openly and publicly to me, here, as a matter of record and for the requisite paperwork, the name of the one who is to be nominated.

If it is your name, I trust you have the mental capacity to understand what it is you are doing.
If it the name of someone else, I trust they know where to find you when you learn they do not wish to become a candidate.

You have twenty-four hours--starting now--to nominate candidates.

Candidates, be candid.
Platforms? Rules? Intentions? Expectations? Party lines?

Please remember: this is the wardenship at stake. Not the Secretariat of the League of Nations or the chairmanship of the ARF department or the presidency of Yoyodyne Industries.

But there is the illusion of the democratic process to be maintained.

Campaigning may begin immediately after nomination.

Proceed.

THE NOMINEES )

[ooc: Warden nominations are now open! Characters can nominate other characters (or themselves) in this entry--do so ICly please! If nominating someone else, make sure you have that player's consent. Keep in mind that only characters approved before September 5th can run. Nominations will be open for 24 hours starting now (so until about 9 AM EDT September 6th).

The election will take place as a poll post on September 7th, and will be open for 24 hours (until September 8th). For my sake, please put the LJ username of the character being nominated in your nomination comment (all inclusion of usernames is automatically considered an OOC reference, of course). Have fun!]

Jun. 28th, 2008

Pavlovian pipe dreams

(no subject)

Mice in the maze...

Hurry, scurry, before we change it again.

Don't worry: develops intelligence.

Just learn.

Shocks come later.

[ooc: Uhh...lol posting from work? I got bored...]

May. 12th, 2008

Is unamused by your bullshit

(no subject)

DAMN IT ALL NO ORDER NO SENSE NO PROPRIETY NO ORGANIZATION NO NOTHING! WHO DID WHAT?

M E M O R A N D U M


[ ]Citizens [ ]Toys [ ]Seeds [ ]Bitches [ ]Creatures [ ]You [ ]___________ (name)
[x]Residents :

Recent events have made it clear that there is a disconnection among the residents of the City. You have observed it. It is no illusion.

The specifics of these recent events cannot be made publicly known; we appreciate your understanding.

However, for certain citizens, it is possible to break on through to the other side be reunited with those of their acquaintance.

In light of that, provided the appropriate payment is provided, and the records maintained, those certain citizens will be permitted reunion.

To provide necessary payment for permission:

1. Complete the appropriate forms in triplicate at the Deity Offices yes, that damned elephant. Pens will be made available.

2. Sign in agreement of necessary payment for entrance.

3. Submit payment. (Specifics of payment only available upon completion of paperwork. No alternative forms of payment will be acceptable.)

Please.

Form an orderly line.

Sincerely:
Prof. Dr. Laszlo Jamf (BS, MS, MD, PhD, HD, PR, HVAC, KoG, LG, RIT, SR, ITR, LCR, DR, PRFR, &c.)

[ooc: This is a deity mirror City trading post.

Trades can be mocklogged or assumed, since you can trade any time this week to get into the mirror City. Your character must give up either a power or one of the five senses as a ticket in, and we know you'll choose a good one to give up. They'll get their power or sense back when they get out of mirror city, but don't expect Laszlo to tell them that. Have fun! No you can't see the strikes, and yes he was listening to the Doors.]

Mar. 30th, 2008

I love you too food

(no subject)

Bravo, bravo, bravissimo.

[ooc: Mad psychologist lols at you. All apologies. Real OCD is not so much a laughing matter and can be painfully crippling emotionally and mentally for those who have it. /PSA.]

Mar. 2nd, 2008

Pale plastic ubiquity

(no subject)

...

... ... ...

There is no precedent.
There is no meaning.
There is no explanation.

...some physiological basis for what seems very odd behavior.

...

Damn you all, I knew this was what the 4027 A/B form was for!

Ferocia Coutura, you are not only a reflex-response anomaly, you will never get away with this!


... ... ...

Perhaps you can be trained. Botched already...

The... ... ..."Hammer Girl" is fired.

[ooc: Your new deity is here, abandoned, cranky, and none too keen on paperwork.]

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